Monday, October 10, 2011

Viva Las Vegas, Yo!

(This is my Vegansaurus post about Vegas, before the edits and posting on their website/blog. You'll understand why I am making this disclaimer towards the bottom, because this blog is SO about the adventures of Jenny Bradley. View the Vegansaurus post here.)

Hey everyone! Two weeks ago I went to Sin City and OMG, what happened there is between my roommates, my close friends, my twitter followers, everyone on Facebook and myself. Even though the idea of Las Vegas depresses me (casinos in the middle of the desert, half naked girls dancing, gambling addictions, etc) I always end up having a blast! Probably because I’m like, the most fun person I know. You can take me anywhere (except to meet your parents, I can be really awkward).
Anyway, everyone keeps asking me what I possibly could have eaten there. I’m like, guys, it’s super easy to be vegan in Vegas when you subsist on margaritas and Bud Light for 2.5 days. In the paraphrased words of my idol, Chelsea Handler “I prefer to be on a liquid diet on my vacations” (written somewhere in Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang). Half kidding! I had at least three meals while there.
The first night was not about eating—I ate before I left cause I knew finding vegan food at 9p.m. in Vegas was not something I would be up for. I did buy some vegan power bar type thing and wasabi edamame in the airport, cause I like eating while doing everything, especially waiting to board a plane. The Southwest terminal at SFO is not nearly as exciting or vegan friendly as the Virgin America terminal (PLANT CAFE!).
The next day began with a Bud Light (seriously, I’ve never had so much Bud Light in my life and I can’t even bear to look at another bottle right now. I’m not a frat boy stuck in a socially awkward yet very adorable chick’s body, I promise) and then lunch at Chipotle!

I got my standard, which is a veggie burrito bowl: black beans, fajita veggies, NO RICE, both tomato and corn salsa, guacamole and lettuce.

Dessert came in the form of a Margarita at a bar stand outside of Caesar’s Palace. Now, normally I don’t drink margaritas because of the sugar content in the mixes, but this little tent-bar made theirs with straight up lime juice, AGAVE NECTAR, Tequila and Cointreau. Delicious! So worth the $12.

Statue of naked dude, not margarita.

Now, I know you are all wondering, DID SHE HIT UP LA CAVE?? Of course. The second I made my plane reservation I knew I’d be eating there. After many hours and many Bud Lights (did I mention we stayed at Hooters Hotel and Casino? $30 rooms and $1.50 Bud Lights. SCORE.) I put on one of the thirty dresses I brought for my three night stay and headed to The Wynn with my roommates (we like to take family vacays together).

 Waterfall at Hooters. The pool and the hot tub are open 24/7! Drinking in them is totally acceptable. Even spilling a shot of tequila in the hot tub, on your roommates and a dudebro that is hitting on you, is fine!

Walking into La Cave, I felt like a vegan Kardashian. It’s so fancy! Now, one thing I didn’t know about the place is that it’s small plates/tapas style. I did get a dirty look from one of my roommates (“I’m paying $15 for a tapas plate?!?!”) but once we got our food, everyone was stoked/evil stares dissipated.

 The most important section of the menu, obvi.

 Gardien Chick’n, Celery Root Puree, Lemon Caper Sauce.

 Mushroom Tortellini, Arugula, Tomato ‘Cream’ Sauce

You guys, go to Vegas just to eat at La Cave. I have to warn you, it’s the kind of place where a pint of PBR costs $8. After drowning in $1.50 Bud Lights, that price seemed like blasphemy. Apparently, being fancy does not come cheap! Even if it’s PBR we’re talking about….

After some more Vegas-style shenanigans (Old Vegas is super fun. It’s like being in an episode of Mad Men, the casinos are sooo retro!), we ended up back at Hooters. You know, because it’s where we were staying. The boys wanted wings (so gross boys, SO GROSS.) and luckily for me, there was totally a sandwich I could veganize on the Mad Onion menu. It just so happened to be the ‘Sassy San Franciscan’. Fucking fitting, yo.

 Take out the cheese and mayo, sub mustard on this veggie sammie, please and thank you!

On our final day in Vegas, I simply could not be bothered to leave the poolside, so I ordered the sandwich AGAIN! There were plans to go to Ronald’s Donuts, but in the end: pool > donuts. I know, you guys are all “WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU”, but the thing is, I didn’t eat donuts before I was vegan and I’m not going to go out of my way to eat them now, just cause they’re vegan. There. I said it. Sorry I’m not sorry!

Since this blog is not called ‘The Adventures of Jenny Bradley’, I believe this is where we part ways. That’s all the vegan-ning I did in Vegas. I know there’s a lot of places I missed (drinking Bud Light all day really kills motivation) so let me know what to hit up next time! Because even though I don’t think I ‘get’ Vegas, for some reason I always miss it when I leave. I’m already itching to go back. Sin City, I might love you.

More pics that will not be posted on Vegansaurus, but showcase how attractive my roommates and I are, include:

 Old Vegas! Crystal, Dan, Rurik.
OMG I love the Golden Nugget! The drinks are strong and super cheap! Photo by Rurik Schtaklef.
Bling Bling Photo by Rurik Schtaklef.

Rurik, Dan and Crystal lounging by the Hooters pool.

 Rurik, myself and Dan. Photo by Dudebro.

Myself and Dan. Bad angle, but good picture! It's exhausting being so photogenic. Photo by Rurik Schtaklef.


  1. Ok, I'll stop commenting on your blog shortly, but that was 10x more hilarious than the "official" version! And there's even a (terrible) explanation for not going to Ronald's Donuts! This makes much more sense.

  2. Keep commenting, I LOVE IT! Thankyouthankyou!

  3. Ha, ok and you're welcome!

    Also, next time you go to Vegas, you should post a call-out for recommendations: I can think of several places to get decent and/or delicious food at 9 pm, without even trying very hard. It's the worst city in America, bar none, but shit is available if you have access to a vehicle/money you don't care about for some reason!

  4. Yeah, the problem this time around was money/vehicle and not owning a smartphone! I'm so 2006!

  5. Down with the tyranny of money/vehicle/smartphone! It is very inconvenient!

  6. SO INCONVENIENT! Though I did take a couple cabs. My roommate, Crystal, and I got called VIPS in one. Very important princesses. Now it's a joke amongst the boys in my apt.

  7. And a good one! *curtsies and bows*